About the Author-Psychotherapist

“Beyond my puny appearance, my father’s scorn for me seemed to stem mostly from my unfortunate tendencies to speak up at inopportune moments.”

From Puny Pariah page 13

The oldest son of an abusive immigrant and a recovering alcoholic, Christopher (Chris) Loeffler grew up viewing the world as a dangerous and unpredictable place. Upon his father’s death, he realized he had lived his life to that point as an “angry victim” of his childhood experiences. Could that victimization, he wondered, account for the explosive feelings, rash behaviors, and self-loathing he caried inside? Thus began his journey to recovery. 

Years later, as a psychotherapist specializing in working with domestic violence, Chris recognized that expecting offenders to show genuine empathy for their victims was unrealistic. How can a person extend empathy to others without first experiencing self-empathy? Moreover, how does one acquire such empathy? Admitting one’s own victimization seemed a natural place to start.

Chris recognized two major hurdles to starting the passage to self-empathy, the core to healing. These were shame (how could I let this happen?) and family loyalty (what happens if our secret comes out?). As a result, over more than thirty years in practice, he crafted two therapeutic techniques designed to work together to accelerate the recovery process: Shame Transformation and The Emancipation Process. Both create deep understanding, compassion, and empathy for the self and others.

Chris Loeffler holds a BSBA from Georgetown, an MBA from Northwestern, and an MSW from Boston College. He is a practicing psychotherapist at Forays Counseling Services in Denver. He lives with his wife, Sandi, and their dog, Riff. 

“The irreconcilable combination of my mother’s idealistic goals and my father’s constant devaluation led me to morph into the haphazard shame-driven, guilt-prone persona which I continued to inhabit at the time of my father’s death.”

From Puny Pariah page 13

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